You Can Call Me Jeff
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To the tune of "You Can Call Me Al" by Paul Simon

A bear walks down the street, he says
Why am I soft all over
Why am I soft all over
but the lasers are so hard
I need a magic opportunity
I want a shot at redemption
Don't wanna end up a Tribal
In a Tribal Graveyard
Drone Sniper, Drone Sniper
Guns in the moonlight
Far away from my well-lit hut
Mr. Fernando, Fernando
Get my friends out of that mine
I don't find this stuff amusing any more

If you'll be my little bro
I can let you hold the staff
I can call you Barry
And Barry when you call me
You can call me Jeff.

A bear walks down the street
He says, why am I short of buddies
I got a short little list of buddies
And woe, my speeches are so long
Where's my Juno and Vela
What if I die here
Who'll be my guardian, now that my guardian is
Gone, gone
He ducked off this planet
With some wide-eyed, blue-pigtailed girl
All alone, alone
There were incidents and lots of ants
There were hints of lacerations

If you'll be my little bro
I can let you hold the staff
I can call you Barry
And Barry when you call me
You can call MEEEEE JEEEEEEFF!!

(Tin whistle solo)

A bear walks down the street
It's a street in a strange world
Maybe it's Juno's Third World
Maybe it's his first time around
He doesn't speak the language
Holds no loaded weapons
He is a foreign bear
He is surrounded by
The sound, the sound
Zombies in the swampy place
Gimlet and Floyd pieces
He looks around, around
He sees Gems in the architecture
Spinning in infinity
He says Amen! and Hallelujah!

If you'll be my little bro
I can let you hold the staff
I can call you Barry
And Barry when you call me
You can call MEEEEE JEEEEEEFF!!