It's the stupid Rare letters page! Send us your mail! If you absolutely must.

NOVEMBER 7, 2002

Rare Reply: Okay, let's get the inevitable out of the way first.

Dear Scribes,
I know you probably get a lot of e-mails about this, but what horrible, dangerous disease was it that you people caught, that made you abandon your biggest fans? Was it because you are just greedy, never happy until your pockets are full? You have been working on Nintendo consoles for years, I've been with you ever since the early days of the NES. Back then, you were a great games developer, and you kept getting better... but now you've dropped to a low that you've never been before. Thank you for ruining my gaming life.

Dear Scribes,
I hate you guys, I waited for so long, ever since the first f**king announcement of Kameo, I've been excited about it, that's one of the main reasons I got Gamecube, because Kameo features a new way to battle with monsters. I waited that long just to find out that Kameo is gone, and now I have to listen to the Xbox-loving b*tches at my school rejoice becuz they're getting Perfect Dark, Banjo, Conker, and Kameo. Damn them, and damn you. I hate you guys, I HATE RARE!!
*burns Perfect Dark and GoldenEye*

Dear Scribes,
There is no good excuse for turning your back on your Nintendo fan base completely in this way in an era where multi-platform game releases are the rule rather than the exception. We are responsible for your considerable success. Your shunning of the people that put you where you are today is shameful, and, like all other creative people who forsake their roots, your endeavors will be destined to fail until you make amends with your fans and put things right once more.
Release your games for the GameCube as well as the X-Box, or your customers WILL make their displeasure known by taking their hard-earned cash elsewhere, leaving you bereft of profits and in danger of being dissolved entirely by your new corporate masters.
Nintendo and Nintendo gamers have been very, very good to you. The proper thing to do is to return the favor. If you don't, you'll find out firsthand that negative karma is indeed a bitch.
Disgruntled Fan

Dear Scribes,
I am sorry to announce that I am not purchasing any more games from you, Now that you have switched to Microsoft's X-box, I cannot buy any more games from you. I had purchased many games from you, you made video gaming what it is. I would have still purchased games from you if you had kept making them for Nintendo, could you at least respond to this letter. You have made many people mad and unwilling to purchase any more games from you.
Former Rare Game Consumer

Dear Scribes,
Can't believe you guys sold out... Well, guess this is goodbye forever. I'll never play a new Rare title for the rest of my life... think you guys have really let down a lot of your friends. You have no honor. I understand business is business, and I won't argue against the idea that it makes commercial sense what you've done, but I'm entitled to my opinion and just wanted you to know that I'm sure a lot of other gamers are seriously disappointed. Good bye and good luck--because Heaven knows, that's all that's gonna keep you guys alive now. Adieu.
Kale Menges

Just a little note to convey my complete and utter disgust at Rare's decision to sell out. I have no intention whatsoever to ever buy one of your games again. I would have thought that the least you owed Nintendo was loyalty.
Happily I don't think you will be missed. Metroid Prime will fill the vacuum you've left in the FPS genre, while Mario Sunshine is infinitely better than Banjo & Kazooie could ever be.
I wish you bankruptcy, you pathetic, money-grabbing, opportunists.
A former Rare fan

Rare Reply: That's probably a fair selection, though lacking the really crass and offensive ones. I also decided not to include any of the ones trying to make a serious comparison between Rare's acquisition and the September 11th terrorist attack, as a) reprinting them would be in bad taste and b) as far as I'm concerned the perspective-impaired idiots who wrote them don't deserve the publicity.
I can't give you a full and frank corporate explanation of the decision beyond what's already available on the site, but here's my take on the whole thing: it was a business decision. This is a business. The people who laid the foundations of Rare 20 years ago and still run it to this day have every right to choose their own roads through the industry, and the need to survive and evolve as a company doesn't necessarily cancel out the urge to go on making damn good games. Also, Rare is not totally oblivious to the fact that the ups and downs of the gaming world mean a lot more to some people than others, and it goes without saying that nobody here set out to do anything as self-destructive as intentionally causing bad feeling within the established fanbase. Trust me when I say that none of the decisions made over the last few months were made lightly.
Bust, thighs and whoops-a-daisy At the end of the day, however, it's not as if Rare has stopped making games entirely. We're still out there, still working as hard as ever. All that's changed is the platform, as it has many times before in the past (something the Timeline was meant to emphasise), and I don't see how you can argue the case for any kind of 'betrayal' when there's still a solid relationship with Nintendo in place - how do you think we intended to manage future GBA development without it?
For myself, I'd like to thank all of you who took the time to send in death threats and personal abuse, as it made the email-reading ritual every morning something to really look forward to. Thanks a lot.
Scribes, then. Brace yourself. Here we go...

Dear Scribes,
An update, and confirmation that you will be putting up some of the content from the old site! Thank God, thank Budah! Thank Shevah! Thank Alah! We will have Scribes and Tusk once again! Hey, what's this? A new photo of Joanna? Very nice, hmmmm... yup, I'd say that's a big improvement over butch-looking Joanna right there...
Is the artist who draws the women in your games as horny as I expect? Good, keep it that way, even if it requires a few of Tusk's amply endowed ladies. I hate to think what would happen if Vela and Kameo's clothing didn't reveal a large portion of their arses... all same artist I suppose?
Dave Roscoe

Rare Reply: Nice misspelling of various popular deities there. No, they're not all done by the same artist, though I'm sure many of our (male) artists would be more than pleased to carry business cards featuring the job title 'Breast/Arse Modeller'.
Tusk's gone AWOL again, it remains to be seen whether or not I can find him...

Festive Greetings,
1) Okay, I'm going to state the obvious now; the vast majority of your readers are complete morons. I realise that this must sometimes be a little depressing for you, but money can be made out of it. Mr. Pants merchandise will sell. Just start off with a few posters or something (I'd suggest having two different posters available, to make the postage costs worthwhile) and see what happens. I'm sure at least half of your readers will find someone to help them work out the ordering page, and if not clever people like me will buy them (I'd snap up a Please Leave Award one [with more pixels, obviously] straight away - imagine that pasted on a door).
2) I've found the Perfect Dark push button codes! For all guns, start a game on Perfect Agent's last main game level, press forward for a bit, then back. Press shoot 9 times. Walk forward more. Actually, no - I'm already bored of that. But it WAS funny while it lasted.
3) Type your own HTML, you lazy fool.
4) You have NO right to not publish every Mr. Pants RPA that poisons your Inbox. You may be his parent, and Rare may have helped bring him into the world, but his life is his own to live. He should be free, and if that means bringing the whole of Rare down due to server charges, that's a small price to pay. Attached is a picture of Mr. Pants breaking free from Rare. The bottom of the image shows how excited he is about this.
David O'Sullivan ^_^

Rare Reply: 1) The Pantsman needs to make his name again before we try to trade off it. There may be no survey here for him to get his wonky 2D claws into, but there are one or two ideas bouncing around...
2) Yes. I rate it a 'Chris Tucker in The Fifth Element' on the Funny Scale.
3) It's because I'm a lazy fool that I do type my own HTML - I can't be arsed getting to grips with any other way of doing it. You think I used Dreamweaver to edit the last site by choice?
4) And so begins the Mr. Pants comeback. Congratulations on reinvigorating the movement, and even greater congratulations on doing so with a picture of him wetting himself. Things can only go uphill.

Dear Scribes,
First off, I want to thank everyone at Rare for making Perfect Dark. I played the s**t out of the multiplayer in that game and it NEVER got boring. "PERFECT", truly was.
Now, I want to also thank you all for joining Microsoft and making games exclusively for the most powerful gaming console on the planet.
But, I was just curious how far along PDZ is and if it has been recreated from the ground up to truly take advantage of the XBox hardware...?
I am awaiting all the titles by Rare on the XBox - you guys are the best in the industry and making exclusive content on the XBox will only make Rare shine even brighter than ever before.
So, I want you all to do two things: 1) Listen to lots and lots of David Gray, especially "White Ladder" and 2) continue to create games by the Rare standard, your name is a stamp of approval in my book.
Loyal Rareware and XBox Fan,
¤ Justan Lee ¤

Rare Reply: As you've probably noticed, we're not really talking about Joanna's next outing just yet, though the new renders do a pretty good job of confirming that there's one on the way. You'll just have to wait until we officially announce it before any of your fanatical questions get answered. Still, thanks for the depressingly rare vote of confidence.
I can't listen to David Gray because I keep picturing the really disturbing way his head wobbles around when he's singing as if someone's sawn halfway through his neck.

Dear Scribes,
Just a quick comment on the site - the new HTML version is much more friendly than the Flash version, which actually put me off visiting. Also, I know there are big changes at Rare, but will you still have a letters/comments section (even if not hosted by Tusk/Scribes); the way you interacted with the public through it put you head and shoulders above any other developer's site.
Good luck on the 'box.

Rare Reply: You must be joking! I wouldn't bring back Scribes if you paid me.
Ha ha. Don't worry, we appreciate the importance of interaction in building up the 'community' feel of the site, and we're glad you like the way it's looking at the moment. Just don't get too comfortable - we may well shift the furniture around a bit more before we're completely happy.

Dear Scribes,
I think this Mr. Pants phenomenon has gotten way too out of hand. People obsessing over a character dressed in fire truck red undergarments on my favorite game developer's web page is one of the top ten things I've never wanted to see, but have.
For your information, I have not been swept up in this "cult phenomenon." Mr. Pants has, however, forced his way into my rather simple life.
You see, a few months ago I was working out a song with a guitar-playing (and I use that term loosely) friend of mine and we were stumped about a subject until I remembered reading Scribes that same morning - Mr. Pants was, of course, a regular topic of conversation (and criticism), so we decided to use Mr. Pants as a song subject.
The song wasn't very good, but it WAS a hit at our high school talent show. It had nothing to do with the Mr. Pants that all those strange, strange people on Scribes write about - it wasn't really about anything. The lyrics didn't flesh out to a story of any kind - we just had our first verse: "Mr. Pants, Mr. Pants, how you make me want to dance," and just rhymed our way to the end, which was equally not good.
In the end, though, it all worked out. And as sad as I am to say it, the strange people at Scribes who praise Mr. Pants were the ones who instigated the whole "working out" bit. I'm not thanking them, mind you, merely bringing it to your attention.
So thanks. For nothing.
P.S. - The Starfox Adventures demo is incredible. Those graphics practically made my eyes burn - so lush and pretty! Anyway, I could see that it finally looks like it may be done. I've been waiting for Starfox Adventures for a long time, along with... everyone else who's been waiting for it. Of course, back then it was Dinosaur Planet and had Krystal in a less-revealing yellow dress and Sabre was in it, and he had a cool sword. You guys should make a sequel to SFA, but it should really be the original DP - unless you kill off Krystal at the end of the game, which would not be kosher. Well, good luck on the games and all!

Rare Reply: I don't know what to say, other than "I hope you're lying about the song". And if not, watch out for lawyers - it's no good saying that your Mr. Pants bears no relation to our Mr. Pants when your only 'evidence' is that he "makes you want to dance". That's clearly our Mr. Pants. That's one of his defining characteristics. Look.
PS The demo? Shouldn't you be talking about the finished game? And don't tell me you sent this mail before it was released, because... I know you did. As for Sabre and Krystal Mk. I, they're still quite prominent around here, in a sense - we bump into the old E3 standees every morning when we come stumbling into Reception stinking of Goldschläger and Dominican cigarillos.

Dear Scribes,
My 16-month-old daughter was watching Teletubbies this morning, and the background music caught my ear. It had a very distinct sound that reminded me strongly of elements of the Banjo-Kazooie/Banjo-Tooie soundtracks. Is there a chance any of your current or former composers have moonlighted with incidental Teletubbies music, or is it all just a coincidence?
Jim Campbell

Rare Reply: I asked the Banjo musician, and got the distinct impression you'd hit a nerve.
"Teletubbies! Let me state for the record here and now, I have nothing whatsoever to do with that bloomin' Laa-Laa, Tinky Winky or any other of those odd characters. If my Banjo music sounds anything like the Teletubbies stuff I'm hanging up my keyboard and going to join a circus!"
I know what you mean, though. Don't tell him I said that.

My poor Mr. Loveday,
So Rare are sold to Microsoft or (and?) Activision. You are going third party, first party, Perfect Dark will be on Xbox (PS2?), a Conker sequel has been canceled for a MMORPG, you haven't made a money making game in five years, and Nintendo is tired of supporting you, you haven't had the creative freedom you wanted, and are tired of Nintendo tampering. You know, if I had the energy I could find a whole lot more, which is sad. Thankfully I do not. Grant Morrison was right, "The great thing about the internet is its levelling effect; online all opinions are equally WORTHLESS."
But I do have some questions; (never know whether to use the colon, semi colon, or what with a list)
1) I'm actually curious what's it like to be working on a project for so long, and for it to end. Perfect Dark was at least four years, Star Fox more. After so long, do you give it a play still and think, "damn, we forgot to put that in" or, "What the hell were we thinking when we put in that?" (Floyd in Jet Force Gemini comes to mind on that one, hate him so much.) I'd like to think that you just never want to hear of the project again, and refuse to accept its existence after completion.
2) What is the favorite game, general consensus I guess, that you have produced?
3) Had a third question, but seem to have lost it. Just pretend I asked something never asked before, that you've always wanted to answer.
Well, I'm off to clean. On a side note, since you seem to have a taste for bad movies, I can't suggest the first Nemesis. Oliver Gruner as a cyborg cop going off to a small island, and Brion James as a German cyborg. Can't go wrong.
Rar. RAR.
Rare Reply:Colon for numbered lists! If you must plague me with the accursed things, at least do it in a grammatically responsible manner.
1) You mentioned SFA and PD, allowing me to justify hassling at least two designers. Star Fox first:
"What's it like finishing a game that you've worked on for so long? In a word, weird. After spending so much time with Fox and the crew, it's kind of sad when it finally comes to an end (ahhhh bless). As for wishing we could have put stuff in, yes of course, but the time comes when you just have to stop (let's hope to see Tricky's 'Leg Hump' move in the sequel then).
"Really don't get your comment of refusing to acknowledge a game when so much time and effort has been put into its existence. SFA is a great game and I think I speak for the rest of the team when I say we're pretty damn proud of it.
"Oh, and by the way, I hear Floyd's not such a big fan of yourself either."
And this edition's sole appearance from our PD 'insider contact', who points out that GoldenEye and PD took less than three years each, thank you very much:
"The sense I got at the end of GoldenEye was one of tremendous anticipation... we had such a great reaction to the game from people at Rare and Nintendo that we couldn't wait to see what the general public was going to make of it. Perfect Dark was a longer, harder slog to make, and at the end I was disappointed that there wasn’t any more time to cram any more things into the game... and then there was the wait for the public reaction again, to see if it measured up to GoldenEye. I am quite proud of working on GoldenEye and PD, and I would certainly acknowledge my part in them - I can't imagine such denial after putting in so much work."
2) Hmmm. I suppose the most widely-played Rare title within the company would have been GoldenEye, but beyond that it's all down to personal tastes and you must have known the chances of me actually bothering to compile a "general consensus" were pathetically small.
3) Brittany Murphy. Or Jaime Pressly.
I've seen the original Nemesis, but none of its no doubt appalling sequels. Good old Albert Pyun must have worked with every B-movie legend in existence at some point: Lambert, Hauer, Henriksen, Gruner, Van Damme, Van Peebles, Seagal, even T (Ice, not Mr.)

Dear Uncle Loveday,
Oh my God I don't believe it... first you followed the Japanese Mario 64 lead with a British twist; Banjo-Kazooie, then you upped Mario Kart 64 with Diddy Kong Racing, and now I hear you're planning on making one last GameCube game called Super Conker Moonshine...?!
What's going on? And what is Duncan Botwood wearing *right now*?
Martin "Alf-Life" Badowsky

Rare Reply:In honour of your letter, Duncan is wearing absolutely nothing. And much as we appreciate the attempts to return some degree of quality to the noble RPA tradition, you might as well just do what everyone else does and spend 15 seconds in Paint bashing out a picture of an arse with legs.

Hey, most cleverestest of Scribes,
I played the stuffing out of Banjo-Kazooie and loved every blessed minute of it, but when it came time to play and love Banjo-Tooie, I found the love was gone.
So my question is simple: why did the developers choose to industrialize the settings for the sequel? A lot of the original's appeal was its admittedly standard settings, which gave the whole game the feel of experiencing a fairy tale with which they could interact. In contrast, the sequel felt as if it were a jumbled mess of everything that didn't quite make it into the first one. Despite the improved graphics, it just didn't feel right. So, was it a conscious choice? Did the development team cast a vote and decide that was the way to go? I'd really love any possible insight into what went on behind the scenes.
Normally I wouldn't ask, of course, but you seem more responsive than most companies and I am genuinely curious. Therefore, I was willing to brave the Scribe's barbs for the slight chance of an answer. Thanks in advance or, if that's unwarranted, something insulting.
Jason Venter

Rare Reply: Barbs? Insults? I resent that. Look - I'm passing you over to the lead designer of both Banjo games right now. Before your appalling stench makes me vomit.
"If we'd have released Banjo-Tooie as an 'exactly more of the same' version of Banjo-Kazooie we would have received an equal amount of comments complaining about that. It's not much fun doing the same stuff again, either. That's why we tried to add a slightly darker edge to the Banjo universe and made the worlds more intricate. From reading comments we have received, it seems players are pretty much split between which is the better of the two games. Wait until you discover that Grunty's Revenge on the GBA is a bit of a mix of the two with some new elements thrown in."

Hello there,
I just thought I'd make reference to a remarkable event last night. As per usual, I was spending my sad life watching Countdown in an effort to catch Carol Vorderman spell out a rude word, when all of a sudden - and IN ORDER - came the first four letters C, B, F, D.
Naturally, I was stunned. Clearly there is some sort of conspiracy going on. DOS TeH SQWEL iclude CARL VODROMAN???? POSSBly NAKED!!?!
I await with enthusiasm a dead-pan response.
B Meister

Rare Reply: If the octogenarian contestants had started doing filthy Scouse dung beetle impressions while Richard Whiteley cracked stupid puns about genitalia and vomit, it would actually have been the greatest moment in TV history.

Dear Scribes, or something else.
I don't know if Scribes exists anymore or not. But I'm writing to Scribes anyway as I'm sure everyone else did.
Even if there isn't any Scribes anymore, you're still going to have to suffer a boring, annoying, oh-my-god-it-hurts-like-a-screwdriver-in-my-eye number list. So let's get started then.
1) This layout is probably my favorite one yet. Much prettier looking than all of the previous ones and not as horribly businesslike as the Flash one. You do have to scroll over to see the menu in 800x600, though.
2) A lot of people hate Jo Dark's new look (much like they used to hate the Gamecube Zelda) but I really like it. There, now whenever anybody criticizes it you can just say "Well that guy off of the internet I don't even know seemed to like it!"
You're probably wondering why I made it a number list if I only asked 2 questions, or why neither of them were questions. Either way, I don't know either.

Rare Reply: 1) Bah. Optimise a site to 800x600 and everyone claims it's tiny and illegible on their jumbo 1600x1200 screens; make it 1024x768 and suddenly every bugger's singing the praises of 800x600 again. Big fat arses to the lot of you.
2) It's amazing how much change frightens people. Nevertheless, quite a few guys off the internet I don't even know seem to like the new JD. Generally speaking, the ones who don't have already decided that they hate Rare, Rare's attitude, everything that Rare has ever done, the families, friends and pets of all Rare's employees and the residents of every town and village within a 50-mile radius of Twycross, just to be on the safe side.

Dear Scribes,
OK, I would greatly appreciate it if you answered a few questions for me.
When I try to go to the Conker's BFD website it takes me to so I'm assuming they shut the site down, so are you guys going to make a new one or restore the old one at least? Because I really liked that site! Especially the little cartoon shorts.
And is there going to be a new Conker game for Xbox? I really hope so because I absolutely LOVE Conker's BFD for N64! And if you do make it for Xbox, it would be extremely kool if you added an online mode for the multiplayer.
And if you do make a new Conker, here are just a few suggestions I would like to give: you need to make a few more multiplayer levels, because I thought that Conker's BFD multi could have really used a Spooky/Horror multi world. And in multi you should be able to choose what type of enemies you fight. Cause I always wanted to fight something besides Tediz in the war levels.
Thanks for reading this and I hope you respond and actually listen to my suggestions, because not enough companies listen to fans anymore.

Rare Reply: Well, Conker is a Rare property and one that's still got plenty of name recognition on the market, so I think it's safe to say that the old rodent will eventually turn up for an encore. As for the site, Nintendo maintained it along with all the other Rare game-specific sites, so at the end of the day they're free to redirect them wherever they choose. Presumably they've still got all the content from those sites stashed away somewhere.

We meet again, Mr. Loveday,
1) What the bloddy hell do you do as a Support Man at Rareware? Do you walk around near the other employees while they are programming or doing some other various task, just waiting for them to break down crying so you can give them 'support'? That's the only possible explanation I could come up with.
2) In BT, when one attempts to enter one of Chuffy's Tunnels, Jam-Jars says something like, "Don't go out there, there's scary stuff out there", or something along those lines. I realised that it wasn't possible for a player to exit a level through there, other than using Chuffy, as it would do something to the game, but what would be so 'scary' out there?
3) If... IF you finally decide to make a sequel to BT (excluding Grunty's Revenge), where will it be located? You have Grunty's Lair in BK, The Isle of Hags in BT, so what is a possibility for Banjo Threeie (terribly named, by the way), and how would one get to this location as I'm assuming that The Isle of Hags would get blocked off somehow?
4) Could this email be any longer??
5) If I were named Steve, would my hair be longer?
Wayne Kerr (formerly The Only Person Who Doesn't Care About A Sequel)

Rare Reply: 1) They'd be waiting a 'bloddy' long time for that.
2) More Banjo team buffoonery: "The comment from Jamjars was to stop cheating tykes travelling between stations without using our lovingly-animated Chuffy the train. The tunnels were 'special' and only trains could use them. So there."
3) And again: "We've got no idea where a possible second sequel may or may not be located. Just to annoy Mr. Venter we might put it in 18th century London - a filthy industrialised hole with billowing chimneys and permanent smog.
'Chuffeh, Chuffeh, Chuffeh...' (c. Armstrong & Miller) "What's wrong with Banjo-Threeie? Not that we've ever said it was going to be called that anyway. It could be worse - we might call it Ban3o."
4) It could if I hadn't edited it quite so viciously.
5) In theory yes, and while I'd love to back that up with claims of a Steve at Rare with a suspicious background in 80s soft rock, everyone knows that's Grant's turf.

Dear the magical horseys that bring me presents while I'm asleep,
I know a good idea for a game! Do you want to know it? Tough, instead, how about this: you are Prof. Botty, a large rear end with a repertoire of stylish quips and ability to fall over at inappropriate times. I have included an illustration of him, as he is faced with his less-than-lovely American nemesis Evil Heiney. Peruse and enjoy.
Disproportionate Bobby
P.S. When you've made the game and profited loads from it, bagsies I get a squillion quid.

Rare Reply: The subject of this email was 'Bibbin Sock'. It's good to see that we've got at least a few certified headcases prepared to stick by us throughout this new era of development.
Awful picture, by the way, but full marks for the bit about magical horseys.

Dear Scribes,
The halls of the Ape Research Society of England (A.R.S.E.) are abuzz with the news of your recent transfer from Nintendo's arse to that of Microsoft. I trust the procedure went smoothly, in every sense of the word. (Please accept my regret at not being able to attend your arsewarming party; scheduling conflicts made this inevitable. The uniquely designed invitation, however, was much appreciated.)
It is with a measure of relief that I announce the end of the Vulpine Sexuality Project. I confess that, in the later stages of the endeavour, I began to question the mental health of the project members. The steamy saxophone interludes and moaning, pleading gibberish phrases were pushing them past the limits of their psychic fortitude (limits which, if truth be told, were rather sharply delineated from the start). Fortunately, I noticed a salutary effect of the Krazoa Test of Fear: the act of harnessing a machine superior to the sum total computing power of the American lunar exploration programme in order to keep the red bit inside the green bit acted like a cold shower upon their increasingly deranged fixation. With a decisive alacrity that did me credit, I constructed a Gameplay Deprivation Chamber that featured the Krazoa Test of Fear as well as the discarded mini-games you were kind enough to send me from the beta version:
The Krazoa Test of Staring
The Krazoa Test of Tuneless Whistling
The Krazoa Test of Running in Place
The Krazoa Test of Falling into a Very Light Doze
The Krazoa Test of Filling In the Centre of Each Letter "O" in a Passage of Text
These activities soon caused the team members to lose all interest in the Vulpine Sexuality Project, and indeed, in most other aspects of life.
Nevertheless, I fear for the future. The Joanna Dark graphic on your Updates page has already sparked excited talk of a Navel Engineering Group, dedicated to developing vacuum technology applications for a Mylar-based line of womens' activewear.
Chauncey Rumsworth Biddlebury III, Chairman, Ape Research Society of England (A.R.S.E.)

Rare Reply: Restarting Scribes with a clean slate is all very well, but you've got to have some continuity. As far as I can tell, a lot of N64-era Scribes devotees have been patiently waiting for their fix along with the newcomers, and we wouldn't want to disappoint those veterans by failing to discuss arses, monkeys and the social acceptability of fancying furry fox-ladies. There's still a place for you here, my deviant friends.
I couldn't agree more about the saxophone bits, while the Dino language took me back to watching Welsh-language snooker coverage on S4C as an entertainment-deprived youngster: "blah blah blah Steve Davis, blah blah blah blah Hexagon in Reading." Can't beat it.

Is it still possible to write you a question about a game you create before your new partnership with Microsoft?
I would have a fan question about a special feature in Star Fox Adventures and I'll be glad if you can answer this.
I would like to know if there is a way to unlock the dialogs and/or others musics/sounds from the game so as to hear them again; for example I didn't find the bagpipe BGM in the audio cheat.
Thanks anyway for this awesome game that will remain in the mind.

Rare Reply: Ooo. High praise - I think. Let's see. "If you've unlocked the Audio Cheat then that's it. Unfortunately the Audio Cheat does not include music made for cutscenes of which the Bagpipe BGM was one. BUT there is a very possible chance that Nintendo will be releasing a soundtrack CD which we are hoping will include not just the in-game music but cutscenes as well."

Hello to the people at Rare.
It's very cool that you guys are now developing for the Xbox. Like any other huge RareWare fan out there, I have some questions on Rare's revised web site...
1. Are you going to bring back the Scribes page? I noticed that after the change from Nintendo to Microsoft that your site has completely changed.
2. What will happen to all of your previous work with other companies (like Nintendo)? Will they be a part of the new site, under Archives or something? Being able to read and download pictures, music, and other things from previous games Rare has done was cool (and I was waiting for the DK64 archive to be completed so I could listen to some Jungle Japes music)! Because of the change in companies, will all of those previous games be considered a thing of the past and not be featured on the new site?
3. Is all of the company's game development in England? I heard that there was a small division of the RareWare company in the U.S., in Miami (or some place like that). If so, do they play some kind of a part in the development of your games? I have also heard that the division in Miami is being moved to Washington. Is that true?
Well, it's been fun chatting. I can't wait to see what my favorite video game company is going to come out with for my favorite platform! And hey, if I can get on track of things, you just might hear from me in 3 years (or sooner) from the Recruitment page. Keep up the great work (although I know you don't need to hear that from me)!
Greg Cox, Elk Grove, CA

Rare Reply: 1) No, you'll see no Scribes on this site. Aren't you listening? Tsk.
2) We're not disowning anything - hopefully much of the back catalogue material, including pics and downloads, will be brought back at some point (with a greater emphasis on the franchises that belong to Rare and are likely to play a part in our future schedule, obviously).
3) There was an admin-only branch of Rare in Miami, which is being wound down as we speak. All game development takes place here at the Twycross HQ, where the fresh country scents of dew-speckled riverbanks, gently sighing conifers and cow dung being stamped into fields by nasally-challenged farmers drive us to ever-greater extremes of creativity.

Dear Scribes,
KI3 will make billions here are a few ideas i have more if you email me back
if you guys do i have a bunch of great ideas like for glacies can have a finisher were he turns in to a puddle comes up around him swallows him turns back into a puddle and and all the bones and pieces of clothing flyes out as glacies returns to his normal form and his blood and guts drip off his body
and cider should come back but make his flame combo harder like back forward or somthing
are you even the person that handals Killer instinct if not can you give me the email address of the person that does i have a lot more ideas better than that one
is there even a chance of another KI or am i waisting my time
krusty clown

Rare Reply: Oh, I think we've got enough ideas there for another five or six KI games. Both myself and the series' designer particularly look forward to seeing Cider in action.
That aside, it's the usual story: we may well bring it back at some point, but right now I'm not aware of any solid plans. Don't worry - the franchise won't go to waist. We'll handal it.


Please make Blast Corpse. I would enjoy blowing up zobmies. Yes, I meant to spell zobmies that way.

Rare Reply: Did you mean 'blowing them up like balloons' as well?

Have you ever noticed that you can tell who has farted just by the smell. Can you tell who has farted in the office because they ate chilli or a donor kebab the night before?
Peter Barrett

Rare Reply: It certainly makes it easier to spot the vegetarians.

The first question in this letter is a valid one. Everything else is more of the same trash designed to incite you to a screaming rage.

Rare Reply: Sorry, I couldn't differentiate.

Once I played PD and in the scene with Trent confronting Mr. Blonde, Mr. Blonde didn't turn into a Skedar, so it was like this angry Swedish guy was mauling Trent to death.
Snippet the crackly oatmeal mutineer

Rare Reply: I think he wrote into Scribes with some shoddy poetry at one point, too.

I just downloaded Rare's promo video off I was just wondering it was purposeful that Joanna Dark is wearing a see-through outfit? Don't get me wrong I'm not complaining, I found it a nice teaser trailer for Rare games, I just wanted to know.

Rare Reply:Are you sure you're not watching one of your 'other videos'?

hay lads i need a pic of an evel joker he haz to look fu*in devily lookin with three or mor of those dangely bell thinngs on hiz hat. plz send me one if u got one aw els ill rip u apart mother fu*ers.....thank u.. that will b all for now
Anna Kinning

Rare Reply: I bet that wasn't really 'Anna Kinning'.

Since you just love RPAs, and print letters including them, I present: Mr. Pants, done completely in MS Word!
Peter a.k.a. Surfpossum

Rare Reply: You spoil us. Actually, you spoil the entire page.