I am quite saddened to see that shooting a Russian guard in the head sometimes results in his hat flying off (and him suffering no damage), whilst shooting Baron Samedi's top hat in multiplayer causes large amounts of damage.

Yeah, but his head's actually that shape underneath. (Cough.)

How do I fart on Diddy Kong Racing?
Tom Ali

Just clutch the cartridge to your arse and go for it.

I wuz outside with my mum 2 nite, looking 4 poizin ivy. Mum uprooted a ded flowur + a zubba stunged me in the arse!!!!! I'm sooing u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! P.S. owie boo boo on my arse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now this is the kind of letter we've wanted from the start...

What's wrong with Ken Lobb? What's he done to make your Goldeneye team feel the need to forever immortalize him as what is widely acknowledged as the worst gun in the game? Poor guy.
Sponge Sponge

"Loud and inaccurate", I believe Mr. Lobb's own theory went.

I need you to fill in this sentence so that I can persuade my parents to let me buy Perfect Dark: "Perfect Dark is just like GoldenEye except it has __________, so it got a Mature rating." If you don't do this I shall sic Bottles on you. I mean it!
Joe Steele

"...more stuff deserving of a Mature rating".

You guys should change your name to Rarewhores.
Percivil the Pringles Man

We could certainly consider branching out.

Last night I dreamt I was running through the school laughing. It's funny because the same thing often happens in real life as well.
Spanky, the Happy Duck

You're not Freddy Krueger, are you?

Wow. Watch Herry that Hairy Bald Monkey tap dance on my keyboard! oY*UFDOUFYErefYD0vfgydufb0dyfbdbp0 Good Job Herry!
PS. Tap dance! gfhghjgdif[finon0ig9gjfmb

He can even make proper use of the Shift key. Now that's talent.

Diddy Kong Racing has become defunct as a side-subject, back in the good old days of my dictatorship you couldn't scroll down through two messages without a reference to Bumper's little dance or T.T.'s helium binge!
El Supremo Grande Tiptup

I think we basically exhausted the potential for cheap innuendo.

Hello, My name is Garry Haywood. I am not gay. From Garry Haywood.

You're clearly not. Garry Haywood, that is.

Jason Frost, Australia

Banjo-Kazooie: who said edutainment was dead?

If a train left Melbourne at 8:00am heading for Adelaide, and a train left Sydney at 9:00am heading for Perth, who will get to play Perfect Dark first?
PD Nut

Depends which one takes a detour to NTSC territories, I reckon.

To whom it may concern. I have given this a LOT of thought and this is a great game idea. "MARIO SEX." Yes, you heard me right, SEX.
Anthony & Mr. C

Actually, that is a great idea. Just not a very likely one.

Do you think that the girl in the bikini after you beat Banjo-Kazooie is Gruntilda because her features give it away, she looks unhappy and there is a tint of green in her eyes. She used her machine to change into that girl.
Hockey Mot

Oh no! B-K's deepest secret uncovered! Except not really.

Oh, no, Vela's got big jubblies. Just ruins the whole game, don't it?
Bob King of the Ewoks

They're not that big. Does that make it alright again?

Why does Floyd say rar? Well, Floyd has a speech impediment. Floyd is simply saying, "Rare!" the name of his benevolent creators! So rar! is not a bad thing, but a very good thing.

We prefer to think that he's just a bit psychotic.

Can you direct me in the direction of any porno pics of Kim Wu and the lasses?
Ben Collings

No, because your name is an anagram of 'Nob Cell Sign'.

Hey now that Perfect Dark has been pushed back several months do you think you can update your sight more than 2 or 3 times a month. (No sarcasm intended)
Jeff C.

We. Don't. Have. Enough. Stuff. To. Update. With. Every. Day.

Conker's Pocket Tales? The name is just ripe with dirty connotations. As god, I order you to change it.
Mark Stephens

But it's completely intentional (Shut up. - The Management)

I think that you should throw Joanna Dark out of Perfect Dark and replace her with Mrs. Pants. Mrs. Pants is quite obviously Mr. Pants's wife, except she wears pants and a bra.

Ah, but that's where you're wrong. Click here to meet Mrs. Pie.

September 16, 1999
August 25, 1999
July 19, 1999
June 23, 1999
June 4, 1999
April 29, 1999
March 30, 1999
March 1, 1999
February 11, 1999
December 24, 1998
December 1, 1998
November 2, 1998
October 7, 1998
September 25, 1998
August 28, 1998
July 24, 1998
June 23, 1998
June 2, 1998

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