Once in a Spanish class, our teacher was talking about reflexive verbs (written with a "se" at the end) of the infinitive form "ar" and said they all end in "arse" and even wrote it on the blackboard and hilarity ensued.
Matt Plunk

Why? We used to write 'Arse' on the blackboard all the time.

Just a quick note to ask - could you sub-title Banjo-Tooie: The Bear Witch Project?
Chris Allcock

Against all odds, that's quite funny...

Mumbo is Mr. Pants.
David Carlton

But that's not. You know where the door is.

Thank you for introducing Mr. Snip. And don't tell me you don't know who he is, I found him on your "website" (yes, "website" is in quotes for a REASON).

First person to thank us for 'Mr. Tree' gets institutionalised.

I have a fish with some sort of growth in its belly, it can barely stay upright, and when it eats something, the weight somehow upsets his balance, and he is forced to swim around upside down for several hours.
Chris Nix aka Squirrel knapper

Is there a punchline to this?

This is just my opinion. I think you should have a monthly Sean Williamson-Bashing contest. (Not literally bashing, mind you. Bashing as in "making fun of".)
The Black Avenger of Cyberspace

Maybe we should resolve the identity issue first...

My name is Garry Haywood. I won't get out of your office until you pay me as planned. And keep the tight leather pants.
Garry Haywood

I wish I'd never ordered anything from your catalogue now.

I can understand hiding the original DK game in DK64, but about Jetpac... any specific reason that one was chosen? Kinda makes me wish I had a Speccy back then. And that I was alive.
Nicholas Killewald

Diddy's got a jetpack. And not being born is hardly an excuse.

Your website contains a large, yellow Rare logo on its main page. I hope you already know this, as it's quite an important bit of information.
Cecil, the little-known rogue tellytubby from Dimension X

I had wondered, to tell you the truth.

I'm proud that you had the guts to delay Perfect Dark to make it better. If you must delay it another 5 months, so be it. I want the best you can give and that's why we all love you so much.
Jean-Marc Goulet

I bet you wouldn't still be saying that next September.

Who is Mr. Pants?
Zach A Eastburg

Nobody can be told - they have to see it for themselves...

This just occurred to me... why the hell don't those guys just shoot out the missile carrier's tires? It would be a hell of a lot quicker and we wouldn't have to f*** around with that miserable Backlash!
NintenJoe Becht

Wouldn't be much in the way of gameplay, though, eh?

You do a wonderful service to mankind.
Edward Hazzan

What are you insinuating? I've never done that in my life.

Jetpac. Man. What a load of arse.
Robert Evatt

You'd have loved waiting five minutes for it to load, then.

Why don't you package your next game in a box made of chocolate? That's even more incentive to buy the game. I know I would have bought Jet Force Gemini if it came in a box made out of chocolate. Just a suggestion...
Dr. Pickle

But British or American chocolate? I know which I'd go for...

Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb. Mary had a little lamb and a side of mashed potatoes.
Chanting Chimp

A friend of mine uses 'Mary' in an anatomical context, you know.

Is Rare really going to do The World is Not Enough? It sounds too good to be true!
Adam Biesenthal

Yes, funny you should say that...

Why do Lupus' tracks go round the wrong way? It is most disturbing.
Iwan Lamble

He's a magic space dog, and that covers everything.

I've heard a lot of my school chums talking about a new Rare game called 'WWF Wrestlemania 2000'. It sounds brilliant and I really want to know if it's out or when it is coming out. Please give me an answer!

I'd like to, but it'd involve swearing.

Is Gruntilda claustrophobic? That would be funny if at the end of Banjo-Kazooie she went "I'm claustrophobic, so help me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and Banjo and Kazooie would only chuckle to themselves.

Let's not be modest. That would be the funniest thing ever.

Hello Ilike your games beacuse they are exelent!!!!!
But i´m a bit gay so I´m in love with Banjo....
Végh, Blidlöv Anders

Gay is fine. Being in love with a bear, though...

Oh, it might amuse you to know that over here in Australia, JFG got an M15+ rating, the same rating that Shadowman got! I find that extremely amusing! Quite a contrast, don't you think?
Ben Kosmina

Yeah. Shadowman hasn't even got a dodgy nightclub.

Banjo-Tooie exposed = Multiple Joygasms (yes I meant to say Joygasm). And for all that is good and pure, please update the Scribes.
Having multiple Joygasms on the pillar of muscular arse,

Scribes updated. Responsibilities discharged. Joygasms extra.

Happy Birthday! Too late? Bah. I wish you a merry Christmas then.

And the same to you lot - mind those apocalyptic Y2K meteorites...

December 23, 1999
November 10, 1999
October 28, 1999
September 16, 1999
August 25, 1999
July 19, 1999
June 23, 1999
June 4, 1999
April 29, 1999
March 30, 1999
March 1, 1999
February 11, 1999
December 24, 1998
December 1, 1998
November 2, 1998
October 7, 1998
September 25, 1998
August 28, 1998
July 24, 1998
June 23, 1998
June 2, 1998

Main Scribes Index